Joy and Tetsuro at Joy's house in Red Hook, Brooklyn, 2015

January 25th, 2022

My best friend Joy passed away on January 10th. She was 41. She was a free spirit, a unique, creative, wonderful mother of three kids, and an amazing human being. She was a mentor to me sometimes. And I was a mentor for her sometimes. We were equally inspiring to each other. I’m still in the middle of sorrow and it definitely will take a long time to process this shock.

She was a folk music documentarian,

She was a philosopher,

She was a piccolo player,

She was a singer-songwriter,

She was a cloth designer and natural dye enthusiast,

She was my best friend (to me. I don't know what she thought about me),

She was my landlord (best landlord),

She was my precious piano student,

She was a co-writer of our songwriting project,

She was French,

And, she was a New Yorker.

Her exploration of this world was totally incomparable. And I couldn’t be happier to be involved with her life. Spending time with her was so colorful and spontaneous every time. Like she suddenly asked me to go to McDonald’s at night to get a Big Mac. And smiling non stop even after we finished our Big Mac meal. Yes, fries were so magical.

She was my very first friend when I moved to New York. I met her at my neighbor's coffee shop called the Black Flamingo. I have encountered so many great people there. When they opened in 2015, it quickly became a community hub. The first Christmas after the cafe opened, she had a Christmas party at her place and baristas and her friends were invited. Each person had a different background, nationality, race, philosophy and color of dress. That night was like an abstract painting with mixed materials. And quickly I understood how this New York works.

Soon, she started to learn piano and I taught her. She had natural talent, almost in a genius way; it seemed like she didn’t need music theory since she had a clear palette. She paused my lesson several times, because she was pregnant and now has three of the sweetest kids.

She seemed a wonderful mother, and she was also still pretty active in her own creative world and being an independent person. She started to study piccolo and composition at Hunter College and I used to be an accompanist for her. In 2017, she composed a wonderful wind quintet composition. She often invited me to go to the New York Phil, a Japanese traditional music performance and several chamber concerts. Then, we always went to a speakeasy hamburger place on 56th Street called “Burger Joint” in Manhattan after the concert. I was cynical about music. I was almost too negative in my comments after the concert every time , but she was listening so carefully on the F Train. I always wondered why she talked to me so nicely even though I was too negative.

I am a cynical person. Not even a very fun person. That's how I recognize myself. However, she understood me 100% and there was no shame in being myself. Because she listened. And she understood. That’s why I could be truly honest and tell her everything that I thought. Her French accent and my Japanese accent didn’t bother the spirit of communication through English. It was like again, magical like McDonald's fries.

She was like the sun. Bright with smiles, but nothing was pretending. She understood my pain and struggles. Pretty often she baked something sweet or offered such a good yakitori, gave me books like Herzog by Saul Bellow which I still haven’t finished. She was inspiring me so much. Her favorite movies, music and philosophy… I tried to soak up everything that she shared, but it was not enough. I’ve never met a person so generous. Finally she decided to start a country life in rural Connecticut. So she started to rent me and my partner out a whole three story house with affordable rent fee.

These two years since she moved to Connecticut, she had a new chapter with nature. She started her own clothing business using natural materials that she designed, made and distributed everything. Even though we are far away, she tried to make her new musical album with me. Her songs were so creative and one and only. I don’t think anyone can replace her musical project. So I’m in deep regret that I couldn’t work with her anymore.

She was spontaneous, and also disappeared suddenly sometimes. I never felt I was spending too much time with her. She showed me only when she was shining. .

On the morning of January 18th, I got a text from her family that said Joy had passed away a week before. My partner and I were in sorrow all day and I still feel completely lost from this tragedy. I live in her house with millions of her things. The whole house was renovated by her design and layout just a few years ago. This house is pretty alive with their happiness and joy. This is nearly impossible to process to move on, but I will try. Joy, sudden death doesn't help anyone. But it's very you, also.

She was definitely the reason for making New York City a place I love and idealize.

And I'm incomplete without her. There are so many questions I still have to ask her. There are so many projects I want to work on with her. There are so many things I want to share with her.

She suddenly left this world. So I still feel like she might appear again without any notice. Because also that's very her. Maybe I need to wait for a while, though. That's the feeling when a person loses their best friend. This is not easy. But someday I'll overcome it.

Please feel free to learn about her works.

Joy’s textiles

https://www.settonj.com/

Book (in French)

https://www.francisrichard.net/2020/11/une-chose-menant-a-une-autre-de-joy-setton.html

Documentary

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1658032/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/settonjtextiles/

Thank you for reading,